Vocation
by TheSilverback
Summary: Oneshot. Rated for innuendo and mild language.The Azugirls discuss career choices and Osaka makes a bizarre comment. R&R, Anonymous reviews are welcome.


It was lunchtime for Miss Yukari's third year students. Being such a nice day, many had chosen to eat lunch outside and the school roof was reportedly crowded. Others ate lunch in the school cafeteria. However, one circle of friends stayed at their desks to enjoy a quiet time together.

The discussion seemed be centering on upcoming college choices and career goals as they ate their lunches.

"Miss Sakaki," Chiyo-chan chirped, "You have some of the highest grades in our class again this year. I remember you showed me that you have received brochures from a few fine colleges, one of them being quite a prestigious veterinary school. Wouldn't that be exciting if you got in to your first choice college?"

"Mmm," Sakaki said by way of reply with a small nod and slight blush. She could never get comfortable receiving praise or acknowledgment from others, especially family or friends. After a brief moments pause when the other girls waited to hear her say more, she quickly changed the subject. "Um, Kagura. I thought I heard that a couple scouts from schools with athletic programs were here last week asking Ms Kurosawa about you."

That did the trick, and all eyes turned toward the lithe athlete. Sakaki breathed a slight sigh of relief.

"I am probably getting an athletic scholarship for college", Kagura said, "but I am not 100 certain what I want to do with it from there. I mean, being on the college swim team will be nice and I'd like to see it go somewhere. The more time I spend with Ms Kurosawa, the more I think I'd like to be a PE teacher."

"Yeah," Tomo replied, "I can totally see you as a high school PE teacher. You know your stuff and you are even more buff than Nyamo. And if the kids get outta line, just give 'em one of these! Hiiiiya!" and she dropped a sudden smack on the back of Yomi's head.

"Dammit Tomo! What the heck is the matter with you?"

"Just consider yourself a volunteer in the noble cause of career guidance for our dear friend Kagura. Hey, once she turns pro, she can probably give you some top-rate tips on exercise plans that can help you burn off a few dozen kilos of that excess fat of yours"

"A few... dozen... Listen Tomo, I don't need Kagura or anyone else to help me lose a kilo or two. If you must know, I am darn close to my personal goals and I am just working on toning up a bit... hey, why in the heck am I even talking to you? What do you plan to do for a career? Professional pain in the ass?"

"Ha ha ha!" Tomo grinned and put her hands on her hips. "How close you are! I WILL be a pain in the ass... for all the criminals out there! I have a foolproof plan for getting myself into the ICPO!"

"Umm, miss Tomo?" Chiyo ventured, "Didn't you decide that required going to a training academy of some kind first?"

"I have decided to skip all that. I plan to march up to their front door, see the bosses and devastate them with my irresistible combination of cuteness and mayhem! They will hire me on the spot!"

"You do that..." Yomi muttered. "In fact, can I come and watch? I'd love to see that."

"We should all go. You could even sell tickets to a show like that," Kagura chuckled.

"On second thought, maybe not. We might get arrested as accomplices", Yomi snickered.

"Oh, then count me out." Osaka suddenly piped in. "I don't think I would fare so well in a life behind bars. I was watching an American movie the other night on TV 'bout a bunch of criminals in the slam. They was bustin' rocks with sledgehammers. And the movie was dubbed with Japanese Seiyuu, so none of their lips moved right. It was real disturbing".

Kagura looked at the space cadet and asked, "So Osaka, what career do you have in mind after high school?"

"Well, I been thinkin' about that," she said slowly. "For my first choice, I think I'd like to be a brain surgeon." Yomi choked on her soba noodles. "But I'm not sure how realistic that is, considering the cost of schooling. I think I'll just stick with my current work until something breaks for me."

"Your current work?" Chiyo asked. "Why miss Osaka, I didn't know you had a job! How grown up of you! I am very impressed!"

"Yeah, no doubt," added Tomo. "So what do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a hooker."

A moment of stunned silence fell over the group. "A w-what?" Yomi sputtered. Chiyo turned her head back and forth, looking in confusion at the white-faced friends around her. Sakaki stepped up behind Chiyo and slowly put her hands on her shoulders and took a step backwards, as if to pull her away from this conversation.

Tomo broke the silence by saying, "But Osaka, how could you?"

Osaka pumped her fist in the air, "Go with your strengths! Find your hidden talents and pursue your career possibilities!" She paused with that one arm raised for what seemed to be dramatic effect. "Well, that is what the school guidance counselor told me. So I gave it some thought and this is the one thing I came up with."

Kagura slowly spoke up, "Osaka, is this something... uh... something you have done before?"

"Oh yeah. I have been doing this for a long time. I started practicing back in middle school. Mostly just to entertain myself I guess you could say," She seemed oblivious to the fact that all the girls took a half step backward in shock. "But if you want to talk about turning pro, actually making money at it, that was just this past year."

Chiyo looked confused, as if she wasn't quite sure of what was going on with her friends here. Yomi and Kagura were pale white, while Sakaki looked like she couldn't decide if she should turn blue, or blush a fierce red. If this was an anime, I guess red & blue would make purple.

Tomo seemed to be the only one who could speak. "Osaka... Do... Do your parents know about this?"

"Well, yeah. In fact, my mom taught me most of what I needed to know. My dad says I get better each time and he even gave me 5000 yen last week and said it was my best job ever! Of course, I have to practice a lot, so he ends up bein' my guinea pig, I guess you could say."

"P-p-practice?"

"Yeah, here let me show you my tool that I practice with at home when I am alone," she said, reaching into her handbag.

Several girls shrieked and stepped back again, Sakaki slid her hands up over Chiyo's face to cover her innocent eyes from whatever Osaka was about draw out of the handbag. The little redhead's hands waved franticly at the sudden darkness.

Osaka fished around in the bag for what seemed to be an eternity, pulling out first a small stuffed octopus plushie, a billfold, a pair of reading glasses that clearly weren't hers... "Oh, darn it. Where did that thingy get to?" Osaka muttered to herself. She pulled out three white objects, "oh, spare tampons, just in case." She looked up at the girls around her. "I guess that coulda been embarrasin' if we weren't all such good friends!" and she dove back into the bag.

"Here it is!" she suddenly cried, and drew her hand out of the bag holding aloft a shiny blue...

Crochet hook.

"What the f-" the girls all shouted.

"A few years ago, my mama taught me how to crochet with yarn and a hook. Ya know, I make stuff like blankets, scarves and I even made my daddy a sweater last week. That thing took me nearly a month to make. I kept gettin' the sleeves all unevened..."

"Wait a second," Yomi burst in, "So what you meant by your job as a hooker is really knitting!"

"Nuh uh," Osaka shook her head, "Knitting is when you use two or more of those long pokey needles at the same time and have several balls of yarn all goin' at once, " she waved her hands in protest. "I always get 'em all mixed up and tangled into one big knot. Crochet is the only thing I am good at, it's where you use the hook to make things out of yarn."

Kagura and Tomo both crashed to the floor against the wall. Chiyo wasn't sure if they were laughing or crying. Osaka continued on without seeming to mind the interruption. "They also have these really nice things that look like picture frames with a mesh in it. You can pull little bits of yarn through the mesh with the hooks too. Ya just follow the patterns and it makes a picture when you are done!"

"So," Yomi stammered, "do you actually make money knitting, I mean crocheting stuff?"

"Not much," Osaka admitted, "Which is why I can't give up on my number one dream of being a brain surgeon. However, Hooking is something I have had lots of time practicing. It's hard to come up with opportunities to practice brain surgery." Then she suddenly brightend with a gleam in her eyes, "Hey Tomo, you still plannin' on spendin' the night at my house on Saturday?"


End file.
